February 08, 2005
Another car for deez folks.
Well, we did it. We bought another car. Another car. Another car. Yes, another car. Yes, another Ford Focus ZX5. What was wrong with the Mazda? It was a money-pit, and I was getting sick of the pressure of driving something sporty and even sicker of the drama of what stones do to a low-sitting car with Japan's new shitty paint (new environmental laws there, I'm told, result in Japanese clear-coat and paint basically being totally junk, but I can't imagine someone with a Lexus would put up with that). Sick of the rough ride and the fact that, at highway speeds, the tires actually cost the same amount of money as gasoline, without the recently soaring prices. That sounds weird, but it's true. Everyone 2,000 mile trip to Maryland (usually closer to 3 or 4) wears out over $100 in gas and $100 in tires (if they last 20,000 miles of the 15,000-20,000 lifespan of Goodyear Eagle RSAs). That's just sick. Had we known that in May, maybe we would have not have bought the Mazda. You know what? I'm upset that I know what the fuck a Goodyear Eagle RSA is! I prefer my former ignorance where I knew how to maintain a car and drive a car and enjoy a car but couldn't intelligently discuss performance tires or the benefits of 17 inch rims and low-profile tires and a tight suspension. Really, I enjoyed being a car idiot (though I probably still am). That said, that mean-looking little bastard was a hell of a fun machine to drive. Zippy and tight and responsive and such. The Focus is more like a cuddly little guy with a dirty mouth (cuz of the stereo), which my wife points out, is like me. The Focus does handle much the same way (especially with the upgraded suspension on the SES models), and the torque is really not that different. (We did beat a girl in a Firebird once with our old Focus, since she couldn't drive her own damned car.) The Mazda was useful at IKEA, but we must have been the most bad-ass people there, among the Jettas, Outbacks, Scions and Focuses. It was too sporty to be what I like to call "an IKEA car." The Focus is perfect for IKEA and travelling, and it actually carries weight better than the Mazda, which drove like it was pulling a dead cow with a fence stuck on it when you had one person in the backseat. Forget trying to stop that thing with two people in the backseat. After the accident with the other Focus in May and after the paint started going away on the Mazda when it was a week old, I really didn't take drives just for the hell of it anymore. I would always take the long way home with the other Focus, and by that I mean that I would take an hour to get home from school instead of five minutes. I would get a CD I wanted on a Tuesday and drive to the Mississippi River and listen to the music in the car. Seriously. I used to put well over 200 miles a week on the Focus (not including inter-state trips of any kind). I drive well under 100 miles a week, now, and that's with trips to Marion with are about 30 miles round-trip anyway. Despite how kick-ass (for lack of a better word) the Mazda was, it was just not working out for us. Even with the moonroof. The Focus was always fun. It's just a regular car that my wife likes to refer to as "so cute." We did get a nicer Focus before, and folks were surprised when they got in it by just how nice a Focus can be. We did just that again. We bought the 5-door ZX5 model with the SES package. Same options as before (alloy wheels, ABS, assorted upgrades over the S and SE) plus one of those annoying alarms, side-airbags and a 500 Watt Sound By Sony system with a trunk-mounted subwoofer. The latter is, of course, the option I like best. I can live without the moonroof; I'd rather have the stereo. I'm afraid that my neighbors and classmates are going to think I actually "have money" or something, because we bought another car, the third one in less than two years. But the second one was not a choice. Mr. Flowers (yes, that was his real name, and I don't give a shit if I get in trouble with my insurance company for saying his name since he wrecked my car and ripped off my insurance company for $4000 and because he's lucky I never got drunk and went to his house to fuck HIS car up and poop on the driver's seat or at least the brush bar that could have killed my wife and grandmother who were sitting on the side he hit because he couldn't control his own fucking cock-extension SUV that 68-year-old men with canes should sure as shit not be allowed to drive) made the decision for us that the other Focus was completely wrecked. This time, though, it makes good financial sense. We are losing money on the Mazda, but the deal on the new Focus is so great that our monthly payments are actually going down, and we don't have to spend $1000 on tires each year and $50 per oil-change for the expensive oil that thing required. I talked to my parents in Maryland, and they seem to think the third time might be a charm. The other Focus was ours for 9 months, and we had the Mazda for about 8 months. Critics who mistake this rash decision for us actually having any money beware. We'll probably have this car for ten years! I'm not really sorry for the rambling, sorry about not being sorry, though. And no, I'm not drunk. Just dileriously tired and dripping caffeine and sugar from every pore.