February 23, 2005
I have no intention of making this a sex-blog or a link to porn or other things for gross dudes to surf one-handed (ick). Also, to paraphrase Homer Simpson, I'm not telling anyone about my secret moves (ick again). But I've been busy reading Lucretius all day, and I though I'd share this passage that I found a while back, quoted exactly as transcribed here, in a book of poems on marriage from the Everyman's Library Pocket Poets series (of which I have a substantial stash). From Lucretius' The Nature of Things: Women conceive more readily, if taken As animals are, breasts underneath, loins high, So that the seed reaches the proper parts More readily. Wives have no need at all For loose and limber motions, pelvic stunts, Abdominal gyrations. These, in fact, Are contraceptive; if she pulls away, Pretends reluctance, stirs him up again With strain and push and thrusting, she diverts The seed from its right furrow. This is why All whores are so gymnastic; they know well Such acts not only please their customers But also are a safeguard, good insurance Against a pregnant belly. But our wives, It seems, need no such nonsense. Finally, The little woman does not have to be A raving beauty; she can win your love, Without the help of any gods, without The darts of Cupids or of Venuses, Simply by being decent, neat and clean, A pleasant person to be living with. That's about all it takes, and love depends On habit quite as much as the wild ways Of passion. Gently does it, as the rain In time wears through the very hardest stone. [Translated by Rolfe Humphries, in Marriage Poems.] I especially like the last four lines, with their being so pragmatik.