May 07, 2005
Stupid red shirt.
So this is how stupid I can be. I went to my office to work on my last paper today and to return two stacks of library books. It was warm, so I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, jeans and flip-flops. You know how you carry around some vague notion of what you look like on a particular day with you? (That's a great paper waiting to be written; don't steal my idea, sucka.) I ran around all day thinking I was wearing this shirt that I have in three colors (good sale) in red. So I'm walking to my car to go home this afternoon, and I look into the reflective windows of some engineering or science building, and I don't see anybody wearing a red plaid shirt. I said to myself, "Damn, where'd I go?" I thought maybe I'd gone vampire or lost my soul or something to cause me to lack a reflection. You know, it would be cool to lack a reflection. I could market that and ditch the PhD and get a job as a spy. I've always wanted to be a spy. All I saw was this dude with a shaved head and a green shirt. I really thought for a second that I was looking at someone else. But yeah, it was me. I was wearing a green shirt all day and never even knew. Forget the MA and BA in philosophy and Mensa and all that shit. I didn't even know what shirt I had on today. I don't think I can chalk it up to absent-mindedness, either, despite my usually being guilty of that. It was just stupidity today. Absent-mindedness would have had me strutting around campus shirtless and hairy. You'd have seen absent-mindededness coming hundreds of yards away. Hell, even I would seen absent-minded shirtlessness in the window. But not the green shirt.