May 26, 2005

Dirty feet.

Apologies for the sparse posting. I've been having minor adventures in Baltimore and enjoying every damned minute of it. This is what happens when you mow the lawn of a large Baltimore City yard with no shoes on. Regardless of how "dangerous" some old guy says it is to "cut grass with no goddamm shoes on" and regardless of the newly-hinged toenail, this is how I did it. Hell, any actual shoes I own are 850 miles away anyway, leaving me with two pairs of Tevas and some flip-flops. Anyway, I think it's funny to have some philosopher-type dude mowing a lawn in athletic shorts and a T-shirt, with stubble as long as the grass. Especially when this particular guy really knows how to mow a lawn properly and volunteered to do it because said dude lives in an apartment and doesn't get to mow a lawn. And mostly because he likes the smell of freshly-cut grass on his feet and legs. And the toe is healing nicely. I have cut off a large part of the nail, and what's left is no longer stuck to any sticky wound. So I can make it talk. I made my dad gag, and that's hard if you know him. This particular toe speaks with a strange German accent. He's constantly asking for black coffee and cookies. But he was not a Nazi, honest, or I'd stick the sumbitch under the mower. Psyche.

4 comments:

Sarsparilla said...

You're a jenyoowhine hobbit...

Pragmatik said...

lol:)

R.M. said...

The first 5 times I looked at this photo I'd swear that this was a highly-realistic bronze statue of feet. That particular shade of green is rarely found on actual (healthy) feet. Congratulations, Johnny!

By the way, the old guy is right. From with a record of foot injury, it does not seem wise to cut the grass without steel-toed boots, football pads, and a miner's helmet. If you think your toe looks funny now, it'd look even stranger floating in a jar of formaldehyde. Besides, you never know when you might need your toe to replace your thumb.

Anonymous said...

I always pictured toes to speak with a Scottish accent, maybe that's because I had cool plaid bandaids for mine when I broke it.

Rach (too lazy to sign into Blogger)